Pain Leads to the Dark Side (contd)

I’m furious. At who and what, I am unsure. God, myself, Emily... I have no idea. I’m processing this anger in the worse way possible. I’m burying it deep down inside, hoping to never bring it up again.

I’m frustrated. We’ve tried so hard, spent so much, given so much time. All for fucking naught. I’ve been stifling the urge to scream several times today. To just throw my head back and scream till I go hoarse.

I’m sad. Emily’s sad and dejected. I’m sad because we have one less chance to make a dream come true. I’m sad because somehow we failed. Miserably failed.

Writing this is therapeutic enough, but I want to talk to someone so badly. I’ve got no one. Emily has me to be concerned about her, despite claiming that she doesn’t need one. But me, I’m all fucking alone. I’m usually fine with that but my thoughts are bringing me to dark places.

I need help.