Appreciation

Appreciation.

I find this a most strange word - so often the cause of much resentment, animosity and uncertainty, even though the word itself connotes a positive reaction towards a positive action.

In my personal experience, I’ve so often felt under-appreciated. Whether by a loved one, a lover, a friend or a boss. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been in severe arguments as a result of this issue. The frequency of this matter arising has also led me to question my own disposition. I can safely surmise that the feeling of lack of appreciation may be the result of:-

a) My own incompetence or inability to do anything worth appreciation; OR

b) My consistent contact with individuals who lack appreciation for anything in general. 

Sometimes I wish to believe that I am right. Moreso when engaged in heated argument. I tend to get defensive, as virtually all of us do, and that does not help me at all.

Sometimes, I stop to think – maybe the other person has some point in all this, and I am in fact, merely blowing my own horn (so to speak), and unjustifiably so at that.

Answers? I wish I had them. Res ipsa loquitor then. Let the facts speak for themselves.

The Green Green Grass Of Home

Dear Diary,

The state of my employment is relatively shite. However, more than just the issue of job security and salary, another obstacle obstructs my path to a different future: I am very, very aware that I have many freedoms in this job. More so that it has made me terribly lazy. Nevertheless, I stay on because this freedom has allowed me to pursue my dreams of dancing, photography and traveling, among others.

The million-dollar question now is: Do I continue staying? No, I’m not talking about staying here for the next 20 years. I’m talking about resigning almost immediately, as opposed to resigning at the end of the year.

Quoting the legendary (at the time, but now more than slightly coockoo) Axel Rose of Guns 'N Roses in their iconic hard-rock tune - "Where do we go? Where do we go now?"

I'm still trying to figure out where this is all going, with not too much success I admit. Is this a sign that I can't handle things of this manner?

Should I stay on when my boss has agreed to grant me that promotion WITHOUT any increase in salary (not even a 2-figure increase)?

I think I'm going to have to start praying again.

Amen.