You know what's disturbing for me? Reading up on suicide cases. I can't ever imagine what goes on in the heads of victims.
The only certain thing, the only undeniable fact, is that depression is a very real thing. It comes is many different forms but all forms ultimately serve one singular purpose - to break you down and destroy you.
My lonely emotional roller-coaster is at times overwhelming. From our failure to conceive, to the grueling medical processes that follows, to the costs involved, to the failure that followed and the anxiety of the next attempt.
I drown myself in work and hobby, and it helps. It really does.
Currently, I'm super skint. Broke. Not as bad as I was in the years past (with much worse financial management) but I'm struggling due to excessive overheads. IVF is fucking expensive, make no mistake about that. Thank God its already halfway through October. I'm trying to see out 2019 without going under.
It's not all doom & gloom but I'm screaming inside sometimes. Is it all worth it?
Yes. Yes, it is.
